You are the ‘Hero’ of your child

As a young boy of 10, I used to play every evening with my friends in a vacant plot of land near our houses. My father used to return back from his office on his motorbike. Whenever he passed by the road, he looked so splendid. I always used to stop and watch him until his view cleared and used to think that I would also be like him when I grew up. He was so perfect – his good physique, his face, his bike, and everything about him. When I grew up to reach the age of 18, there were very few things I really liked about him. Then I disliked his arrogance, manners, and the list could go on. Now that I have reached the age of 25, I am starting to love him again, as I am mature enough to ignore anything negative about him and to appreciate the positives. As a child, I could not see any thing negative in my father. He was my Hero. These turns of events prove that “There is something about Age”!

As a matter of fact, every child has his father as his “Hero”. You know this is true from your own experience. So there comes the responsibility of the fathers to knowingly inspire their special fans.

Teach what you preach

Some times the fathers become a mere preacher. “Do this”, “Don’t do that”, “You should be like that”, etc. The list goes on. It is useless for the child to hear from you that we should respect elders, when you yourself don’t give respect to your elders in front of your child. What you think about money, how you deal with your friends, your attitude, etc, your child takes all these with him while s/he grows. Children learn most of the things seeing, and very little while listening. The key is to understand this and taking actions accordingly. You are your child’s hero, so you should live up to that. First practice all that you teach your child.

The way to Right values

We all want our children to grow up with all the right values. But do we really do something to impart them with those? Young school-going children read so much in their books. Therefore, your attempt should be to make sure that they get to see in reality all that they read in the books. You can explain to them the basics of science like pressure of air, volume of water, how colors develop, diversity of nature, food chain, etc. With equal attention, you should explain to them the story of Ramayana, why exactly Rama behaved like that, why something happened like the way it did. Show them in practice that you don’t tell lies, you don’t try to harm others, you don’t kill time, and the likes. If you yourself sit in front of the TV set for hours, and scold your children when they reach there, creates confusion in the minds of the children, some thing which can only develop negative attitude. When you see some children with very good values (sanskaar), don’t call their parents ‘lucky’. In fact, there are ‘successful’.

Love but don’t pamper

I met a young father with his young kid recently while traveling in a train. The child was repeatedly throwing items on the floor, and the father was picking them up again and again. Any one could see the child; he was growing into a spoilt-child. But the father could not and some times ‘can’t’ see that. Loving your child is one thing, and spoiling them by pampering is another. Make sure your child grows in the “real world”. Let him/her be aware that there are people who are poor, as there are people who are rich. And that should not make them think that the poor are ‘bad people’. Let them have 360 degree views of life, instead of remaining in cradle of comfort.  

I am no father. Many of you are. You can add value to this piece by posting your views and comments.  

[Kumar Rahul, Tuesday, March 6, 2007, 1.31 PM]